Ma's "School"

My mother attends adult day care. She relates to it as school. Even with her dementia she still loves learning, so the learning/memory games they play at her school pique her interest and keeps her brain sharp. Ma is a born missionary so now her school includes Bible Study too. One of the things that she is not so good with is being pushed around. Ma is from that group of folks who promote the "don't start nothing and there won't be nothing" philosophy. So she was booted out of her school because she was fighting. We were not surprised just aggravated. She weighs about 98 pounds, she is about 4 feet tall and you could push her over with one finger. However, she becomes Muhammad Ali when she feels pushed around so she strikes the boxer's pose and has a mean left hook. Alas, she punched a health worker in the eye and was asked to leave the program unless we drug her. We refused because drugging her would not help her…just them. They are the professionals and we believe that they should have handled her better.

Ma has dementia. She is 94 years old. When she is lucid she is smart as a whip (that's really the problem) and takes no crap off of anyone including me. She can be childlike with imaginary friends and invented additional family members, as if we need more. We have prevented her from cooking because she forgets what she is doing and abandons it, plus her vision is bad. She runs away from home believe me that can scare the heck out of the care giver. My nephew Pete still has not forgiven her for running away on his watch. She ran away on my watch thee times once successfully. Ma ran away from my sister's house but returned on her own...my brother-in-law was impressed. Having a secure, safe place for her during the day with a caring staff is imperative for our peace of mind.

Last week she had her geriatric psych screening and Ma being Ma charmed them. Her geriatric doctor said that nothing was wrong with Ma...it was the caregivers. Of course being a caregiver I knew it included me too and rightly so. I have found that I have inherited her stubborn streak and do really individualize care...I see a mission and move towards it regardless of what others want or need because it is efficient. I am trying hard to change that. Ma loves drama. I do not. So, we are working our way through that little detail. Mean while the goal is to get Ma to use other non-violent means to let people know when she is displeased.

Now, as we venture to enroll Ma into a new "school" I hope that they keep in mind that we are entrusting them with our family jewel even if she does have a good right hook too. She deserves to be treated with dignity and care and not abandoned her when her illness causes "trouble." That would be the professional thing to do.

Autism

My grandnephew Andy has autism. It is obvious upon simple observation that he does not speak and acts differently than other 4 year olds. The problem for Andy, his parents, and me is that he has not received a diagnosis of autism yet. He has the classical signs of autism like refusing to make eye contact, talking to his hand, not speaking, and frustration from his inability to make us understand what he needs or wants sometimes.

Why does it take so long to have someone in authority to sign a document saying Andy is autistic? Our fear is that with the passage of time and no intervention Andy will find it harder to get the help he needs to learn how to communicate, socialize with others, and invariably be successful in school. It pains me to see him struggle and I am without the skills to help him other than by providing his basic needs and a pair of loving arms into which he enjoys snuggling. More technical support for parents and family members who are trying the navigate the torturous path towards getting that diagnosis would make the waiting much less stressful.

More and more children are being diagnosed with autism. Many people are diagnosed as adults with autism. There simply needs to be a more efficient and effective way of getting services for our autistic loved ones. I want to see Andy read and hear him tell me my arms are like pillows to him. That would be a blessing.

Fun as a Cure for Being Overwhelmed

I have the responsibility for the care and feeding of my 94 and a half year old mother and my 12 and a half year old nephew. I am sometimes overwhelmed because they both are crotchety, ungrateful, complainers. I dearly love them but whiners they are just the same. My test comes with cooking. Neither eats a wide variety of things. Ma is much better than Joel but it comes to the same thing all they want is... Junk Food! And junk food is a very bad thing for me. Look, I don't need one more ounce on this already overloaded frame.

So, every day I struggle to think of something that we all like to eat. I eat hamburgers but never had an abiding love of them...Joel is a hamburger nut. Ma, eats like an atrocity survivor...barely anything. Whereas I love all kinds of foods especially seafood. I am also very allergic to shellfish so that limits my seafood by quite a bit. Still, I manage to feed them something. It wears on my frame and my mind.

I spend most of my time with them. They do not like anything that I do. We live in a city with many interesting things...museums, historical sights, a decent theater life, cultural festivals and of course an active church. I find that my social life is bland limited to occasional church attendance because when Ma does not want to go Joel and I have learned that making her does not work. So it is wonderful that my best friends from New Orleans are coming to my new town to see me. My spirits are lifted high because I know that we will laugh, encourage each other, commiserate about our lives, and enjoy the things that we all like. Here's to starting my new life and soon my new job with the encouragement and blessings of my friends.

So Dawn and Kim here's a God Bless you and a heartfelt thank you even before you arrive.

Much love for you!

Deb

Good Dementia Article for Dementia Caretakers

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/06/24/health/24deme.html?ex=1372046400&en=6c1ebe3a7786081
b&ei=5124&partner=permalink&exprod=permalink

New York Times
Health

Doctors Say Medication Is Overused in Dementia

By LAURIE TARKAN

Published: June 24, 2008

The use of antipsychotic drugs to tamp down the agitation, combative behavior and outbursts of dementia patients has soared.

A Very Good Commencement Speech
J.K. Rowling's author of the Harry Potter Series
Harvard University Commencement 2008

http://buzz.yahoo.com/article/1:npr708:9311c0b7c0ce94e1bfb78ccd5c9a4f45

Action for a Responsible Press Alert!

Dear Friends,

Right now, Fox News is trying to paint Barack Obama as foreign, un-American, suspicious, and scary. They're trying to send Americans the message that our country's first viable Black candidate for President is not "one of us."

I've joined on to ColorOfChange.org's campaign to push back on Fox, publicly demanding they stop their race-baiting and fear mongering. If that doesn't work, then we'll go to their advertisers and the FCC. I wanted to invite you to sign on as well. It takes only a moment:

http://www.colorofchange.org/foxobama/?id=1953-546747

Here's what happened recently:

After Senator Obama won the nomination, he and his wife gave each other a "pound" in front of the cameras. Fox anchor E.D. Hill called the act of celebration a "terrorist fist jab." Then last week, a Fox News on-screen graphic referred to Michelle Obama as "Obama's baby mama"--slang used to describe the unmarried mother of a man's child. It was a clear attempt to associate the Obamas with negative cultural stereotypes about Black people, an insult not only to Michelle Obama but to women and Black people everywhere.

After each of the incidents mentioned, Fox issued some form of weak apology. But what does it mean when you slap someone in the face, apologize the next day, then slap them again on the third? It means the apology is meaningless.

These aren't one-time incidents--they're part of a pattern that continues no matter how often Fox is forced to apologize. Fox has a clear record of attacking and undermining Black institutions, Black leaders, and Black people in general.

If we don't push back now, we will see more of the same from now until November. Please join me in helping to bring an end to Fox's behavior.

http://www.colorofchange.org/foxobama/?id=1953-546747

Thanks.

My Ma

I have lived as an adult with my mother since 1998. It has been an education. The social dynamics alone could fill several posts. My mother whom I have always called Ma is one of the toughest people I know.

She in her deep knowledge and fearless dependence on the Gospel of Jesus Christ took on the Jehovah Witnesses that held our neighborhood (of diverse religious beliefs and a couple of atheist s too) hostage on Saturday mornings. I remember that day clearly. The nice ladies came up to the house. Ma shouted orders to invite them into the living room, go make tea, use the best tea set, and go to the ripoff corner store and buy that expensive box of Nabisco mixed cookies that held a sampling of Nabisco's best cookies in two layers, clearly Ma was rolling out her reddest carpet for the visiting Jehovah Witnesses.

Ma pulled her huge Bible with the picture of a white Jesus on it on her lap. She put her Concordance on the floor against her right leg. I don't know how those ladies did not know the battle was on but they handed her their Watch Tower Magazine/pamphlet and it was on! I have no taste for live blood sport (except for boxing). So, I did not watch the battle. I did see the results. They came back only once. Then for the rest of our lives in the neighborhood no Jehovah Witnesses came through to convert us on early Saturday mornings or any other times thereafter.

Ma if she were born to another family in another time would have been some university's prized professor. She is the one who taught us all to love reading, books, and information of all kinds. She is also the one who saw to it that we had a religious upbringing. Ma is the person who taught us to hold fiercely to family, to help each other and pray for each other to stay a family. Now, that she is nearing 95 and there are no more "old ones" other than Ma at the top of the family tree the family lessons she taught are being handed down to the next generation to carry on by us the next "old ones". May we do half as well as she and daddy did.

When I Am Old I Shall Wear Red

My favorite color is red. I feel happy, carefree, and even alluring when red covers my body. As I steadily grow larger the less red clothes I find to adorn my body. I miss that hot red dress. I even walk differently when I wear red. My hips swing and my head tosses and a smile is plastered on my face. My world at that point is hot, fun, and filled with secret thrills. I mean I love red so much my attitude pours confidence all over everything I am doing at the moment. Hmm, red really is powerful. So why when folks get older they don't wear it as much? I mean a few sisters flash their red suits on Sunday during the rest of the week they wear those indigo, green, white and black colors. Why not have a hot red week? Wear red every day to just bowl folks over with the you of you!

Some folks say purple and royal blue are the colors of royalty but give me the loudest red you've got and no queen can out shine or out rank me. You can never wear too much red. They say I look like a flame? Well, isn't that the point?

Virginia Singleton Britton- Graduate 2008

On May 29, at 7:00 p.m. after several years of diligent work, Mrs. Virginia Singleton Britton graduated at the Bonnabel High School in Kenner, LA.

Mrs. Britton came to The Learning Center to get her GED. She never quit. She is a fighter which comes in handy when you as an adult have so many "issues" that erupt and threaten to throw you off of your game or just stop you cold. Virginia came to The Center needing work in everything. Unlike many students who feel overwhelmed and quit Virginia stuck to it. She kept going after it repeatedly taking the GED examination coming close but not quite making the grade. She pressed on. She enrolled at Delgado Community College in New Orleans without her GED and took challenging college courses and passed them too while studying for the GED. She kept taking the GED until finally she passed it!

When Hurricane Katrina destroyed The Center and disbursed the staff she landed in Baton Rouge where she continued to take courses at Southern University that would take her closer to reaching her goal of becoming a pharmacist. Later, missing New Orleans and wanting to be closer to her family she returned to New Orleans and battled to get decent affordable housing. She succeeded at that too.

Upon returning to New Orleans she enrolled at Southern University at New Orleans passing very difficult science and mathematics courses. After completing her work there she will return to Delgado Community College this summer to get her Associate degree in Pharmacy Technology in May of 2009. She expects to graduate from Delgado Community College so that she can immediately enroll at Xavier University in New Orleans' School of Pharmacy in the Fall of 2009.

All of us who understand the odds that she overcame and the personal struggles she persevered through to accomplish this critical step toward reaching her goal of becoming a pharmacist congratulate her and cheer her on to further success.

Virginia you do The Learning Center proud. Congratulations, it is well deserved.

Obama Day!

This morning I am filled with pride, hope, and relief that we as a country and Blacks as a people have completed the first part of a long journey toward changing this country for the better...Senator Barack Obama has won the Democratic nomination for President of the United States of America. Hallelujah! This has been a long time coming. As a person only three generations away from slavery I feel the prayers and hopes of those who came before me. A secret hope or dare to have someone who looks like me become President of the most powerful nation on this planet has been granted a step closer towards fruition. For me this is a happy day, this is Obama Day! This is a day to celebrate seeing history made.

Now, we have to be vigilant, prayerful and trust that God will deliver our hopes and prayers again. May God grant Barack Obama the 45th Presidency of the United States of America. Happy Obama Day!

A Reason to Keep On Keepin' On

I love mass transit. Folks here in Boston tend to think that is weird. What I love about mass transit is the fact that I can get the community news, while not being agitated during the ride (as I am when I drive), ask for directions so I do not get lost, and my nephew who is four loves it too. On a day that we had a series of errands to get done. We took six buses and two trains. He loved it! Andy is autistic and does not talk so his joy is demonstrated by his facial expressions and through the tensing and relaxation of his body.

He sat by the window and was enthralled with the changing scenes of the different neighborhoods we traveled through. Finally, on our way home we had a chance to board the Silver Line which is a bus/electric train depending on where it has to travel. It rides so smoothly that Andy slipped into a deep sleep within seconds. I gently awaken him when we got to our stop. He looked so surprised to be asleep.

Now that gas is so expensive I look forward to taking the T more because at this point we can ride in the car or we can eat.

Glory Be! I've got a Job!

“Hold on, so you can hold out,” a church saying that has come to mean a lot to me. During my extended search for a job I got close to being offered jobs but, thank God I did not get those positions. They were not meant for me. What is for me is the position that was offered by Patrick F. Gavin Middle School, to fill their librarian position. Mr. Matthews, the Principal has high hopes and big dreams for the library. I do too. It is a perfect place to win readers to frequent and entice reluctant readers to read. I accepted the position because it also means reaching out to the community including them into the library too.

Gavin Middle is located in South Boston, an old line Irish community that is rapidly gentrifying. There is a nearby public housing development where I hope to do collaboration with a strong community based grassroots organization. However, now I need to setup a cataloging/circulation system as well as establish an online newsletter featuring: homework assignments, current school events and a list of vocabulary builders. I will also offer readers' advisories and best new websites as a lure to recruit students to use the library for homework assistance, and pleasure reading. I cannot wait to start!

Be assured that those of you in library and education fields I will be calling for ideas and information to make Gavin Middle School Library the heartbeat of the school!

Black Talk Radio

When I lived in South Florida my job called for me to travel to as many as five different libraries sometimes in a day. For four years I used public transportation which means it was a very difficult thing to do since mass transit in South Florida is a half hearted experiment that is not intended to work. I spent my time on the buses reading and thinking about all of the things I needed to do. When I purchased a car I found the morning drive show hilarious and a good way not to be another road rage driver.

What I like most about radio are the commercials. I find that the advertising companies go a little far in creating radio commercials. Most commercials are very funny or at least fast to listen to while rolling along the road. Talk radio is to me like one long commercial. Some of the folks that call are crazy, some have ill defined anger issues, and some are articulate and cerebral. The fun part is that they are all on every single one of black talk radio shows.

I start my morning out with Tom Joyner in the Morning. I like laughter in the morning and I am guaranteed at least three good laughs before I arrive at my destination. Sometimes I need to pull the car over because they are so crazy. My favorites are Sheryl Underwood, Huggy Low Down, Tavis Smiley, Reverend Al Sharpton, and celebrity guests like D.L. Hughley and the crazy 2 Live Stews. As much as I like the jokes and smart remarks I appreciate the information that is being dissimulated by the show for the aid of black folks. Medical, voter, historical, and community information is broadcast to listeners keeping us informed as well as entertained. Because of the TJMS show I knew about the sister study for black sisters. I enrolled to participate because my sister Lorraine died from breast cancer. If the study can help provide better medicine for black women I am happy to be aboard. Listening to the show meant that when asked to enroll I said yes and did it!

TJMS is not the only show I listen to any more. I now am a semi regular listener of the Warren Ballentine Show as well as my favorite...Reverend Al Sharpton's show which is both informative and funny. If I was a victim of blatant injustice I would contact Rev. AL because he really is about righting injustice. In his practical way he follows the Kingian tradition of continued pressure and agitation. Also, only Rev. Al could make getting arrested an honored experience.

Black talk radio keeps you clued into news from the black perspective, provides that laugh (sometimes unintentionally) and is one of the few outlets for black people to voice their opinions about current events. It's like a black town hall meeting every day! Dial them up sometimes.

A Family Divided by Elections

I received a rather energetic (see fire-breathing) telephone call from my niece. She was upset about two of my sisters who are committed to supporting Hillary Clinton in this year's Presidential election. I told her that the sister who lives in Boston and I are Obama supporters. Unfortunately, though my sister's husband is a Hillary supporter so we really only provide Barack a single uncontested vote from the north to help him win the Presidency.

After we hung up I began to realize that black family households all across the nation are experiencing similar drama regarding which Democratic candidate should win the nomination and then hopefully the Presidency. I mean if Jesse Jackson cannot convince his wife Jackie to support Obama, Charles Rangel's wife Alma is an Obama supporter even though her long time husband and big shot in the House of Representatives is a strong Clinton supporter, what chance do I have again talking Dorothy and Cynthia into joining Venessa and me in supporting Barack Obama?

What a mess! Still my Hillary Clinton supporting sisters are not ignorant or illiterate they are well read women who like the Clintons very much. Venessa and I are supporting Barack Obama mostly because he is offering some plain thinking yet radical ideas like; getting out of Iraq fast, stopping the hemorrhage of tax dollars for a useless war, talking to our enemies, engaging the citizenry to participate in government by holding it accountable, restoring our faith in the Constitution by actually following it, and a host of other really important things too. Whereas Senator Clinton has not ever suitably explained her vote for a war in Iraq for either of us to believe that she would make haste to get us out of there, we are still very much feminists who are delighted to see a woman seek the top post in this country.

Ma simply does not care. She says that she will believe it when she can see it. Knowing her (she's a race woman) if Senator Obama wins she will be over the moon about it. At age 94 this granddaughter of slaves will have lived long enough to see the election of a black man as President of the United States. How cool is that? Only daddy would be prouder.

My family is divided but we are staunch Democratic Party members and we will vote Democratic in November regardless as to whomever the party nominates.

It seems that there is a time in life that you need to stop doing things that worked before but have long since stopped working for you now. Working for organizations on grants is one thing I am vowing to never do again. I need to work for some company, group or organization that will allow me to be paid a living wage consistently.

I am a hard worker and can move things to fruition when given a chance. It is so very hard to work at a place that is so transitory when you know you are next to be let go because the grant ends and will not be renewed. Or you will soon be the one booted out of the organization because...you did not bring in enough money or publicity that brings in money. This is a scary way to live when you have obligations to others who depend on you to be the bread winner.

Working for government is the only place I can see where you can slowly nurture innovative programs without the pressure of funding (provided you do this as a small "mole" unit). Since you are civil servants you have job security while having the ability to look at the development of a service or product over a longer time than is allowed in the for profit and especially with not for profit agencies who have such unstable funding systems.

What the country needs is innovation. The rest of the world is leaving us in the dust concerning education; especially in science and math. It would behoove government to focus on education kindergarten through college. However, it is especially urgent to focus on young adults and adults who have been badly served by the system and are without a diploma or GED. It is there I believe that the most movement can occur fastest. When you make a difference in one adult's life you affect their entire family. When mom or dad possess experience with academic success they begin to use their recently acquired knowledge to encourage if not help their children and grandchildren in school. Educators gain at least participatory parents in the schools who support education and the staff there doing it. That makes for a paradigm shift in how learning is viewed at home and the transition of that kind of thinking to learning at school. Learning becomes VALUED!

What I am hoping for at this point in my work-life is to work with a governmental organization that is trying reorganize mass education for adults and young adults who have failed in the system as it is presently structured. In this country we cannot afford to have people discarded and marginalized. We must bring everyone along forward because every citizen has a valuable contribution to provide our society they need the opportunity to do it. As we are beginning to look at how to use available finite fossil fuels in a conserving way while using and searching for renewable energy to operate our lives, the same focus should apply to harnessing the brain power of every citizen!

Although I need a stable income to live a little stress free I realize that with my experience I need to expand into consulting both with grassroots and start-up literacy programs as well as how to design and operate outreach public community libraries. Ultimately, I believe that libraries are uniquely positioned to be the force to catapult the literacy movement far beyond where it is languishing. Once libraries are ready to replace their elitist mantle and become places that seek to serve the masses they can function as both engine and fuel for America's source of informal education. It takes library directors to be courageous to insist on serving the under served as well as to view literacy programs as the way to grow their own patrons who are both grateful and loyal to libraries.

Being in Massachusetts puts me at a distinct disadvantage to locating a place for employment willing to engage in mass education by fully staffing and funding a literacy group that provides cradle to grave literacy services for their communities. There is a high literacy rate here and an institution that is married to what libraries were rather than what they could be.

Finally, a true community based literacy program requires that librarians and literacy staff reach out personally and consistently to organizations, groups and especially individuals that need their services.

If you are interested in doing this kind of work ...hire me!

Another Thing to Do

Another thing I have to do is to return to New Orleans to get my financial affairs in order. I will use that time to settle my unemployment claim with the Louisiana Department of Labor and to turn in my keys to New Orleans Public Library. It has been months since I have worked. I miss the routine and the expectation of some different happening each day. I miss my students and my friends dearly. I also miss the food.

Boston is a lovely city. It is like New Orleans, steeped in culture. Unlike New Orleans, it is prosperous. It is also a city that takes education seriously. I could with not much struggle live here for a very long time and be content. My mother on the other hand at 92, is having a seriously hard time adjusting to the change. Her dementia has escalated and she threatens to run away several times a day. She has run off once before. That means that she has to be in an environment where she has constant care.

In Boston, there are exceptionally good senior services that have allowed us to develop a strategy for Ma to stay out of a nursing home, allow me to work, and provide a home for my nephew. That means we will probably put roots down here while we wait to see what will happen in New Orleans. Stay tuned!

It is not that bad to need a job. It is not that bad to search for a job. It is very messy when you need a job and have no idea where you will end up or how long you'll be staying where you are presently. It is terrible that there is no map or plan to follow that can tell you where to go and it all might turn out. With the passing of time the way grows fuzzier rather than clearer. Family who were once close neighbors now separated by many miles and then there’s that sharp reduction of funds. Friends that once provided a critical support system before are miles away worrying about how to redraw their own lives and bear the separation from their own families.

Now that we are all struggling to rebuild our lives since Hurricane Katrina, ripped them apart very simple things are those things that are most missed and mourned. I want an oyster Po'boy and a chance to share it with my best friends. I want to have all of my sisters and brother come to Ma's house and laugh about stupid family stories and argue about politics. I want to not be so sad and definitely not be so damn angry. Most of all I want to be closer to God because I am firm in my belief it was He that guided us safely from New Orleans to friends and family.

Finally, I miss the job that severely underpaid me. I don't miss the miserable pay. I do miss my students. I have taught reading in general and adults in particular for over twenty years. I have 19 years of work left to go before I can retire. I have decided that my gift is in teaching. It is my calling and I need to continue to do it while improving my own education. Maybe this is my time to get re-educated so that I can handle the next challenges in adult education. Those challenges are coming quickly. From that perspective unemployment may not be such a bad thing as much a kind of preparation for yielding me more green (money).

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God Bless us all!